Pirated Perspectives
by InsaneScriptist
Summary: A collection of different perspectives and prompts from Xanxus' Adventures in Parenthood Piracy. Random themes/characters from OP and KHR and prompts from every 100th reviewer. Rating may vary chapter to chapter.
1. Rosso: Pre-Xanxus

Pirated Perspectives by InsaneScriptist

Beta'd by the outgoing Umei no Mai

Summary: A collection of different perspectives and prompts from Xanxus' Adventures in Parenthood Piracy. Random themes/characters from OP and KHR and prompts from every 100th reviewer.

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><p>Rosso strummed her guitar as she hummed. While Impel Down prided itself on being an inescapable prison Rosso knew that to be a lie. She had escaped both her cell, and the prison itself multiple times. It could be a mite difficult depending on who was in charge but with an hour or so of preparation, everyone's mind was too fuzzed to notice or remember if she had been somewhere she shouldn't be.<p>

There were multiple reasons she stayed in Impel Down. The first was for the free food and accommodation, no matter how basic they were; if she wanted to upgrade as she had, theft was always an option. The second was how close she was to Marine Headquarters and the self-proclaimed Holy Land of the Tenryubito itself. Third and in some ways most importantly, was that she always was able to find a captive audience.

Her presence wasn't entirely unnoticed; they just thought that Impel Down was haunted by some ghost, or indeed any number of them. Enough prisoners had died here, as had a fair few of the guards over the years too and not all of those deaths had been her fault either. For it to be haunted was expected. Rosso might have taken a wee bit of an advantage of the entire idea; after all she had planted it in the first place so it was only right for her to reap the benefits. It wasn't Rosso's fault that the guards and prisoners couldn't see the ghosts! Rosso just made them visible for short stretches of time! It wasn't fair that Rosso was the only one that could see them!

Rosso had been an inhabitant of Impel Down for a long time; she had erased every memory of her presence and even destroyed the paperwork that spoke of her crimes and her very existence. Both of which Rosso had done before leaving her cell the first time to retrieve her clothes and guitar. Proximity with Marine Headquarters had enabled her to destroy her original Bounty poster -except the one she kept out of vanity- and kept her up to date on the world and if she muddled with the heads and minds there for her own amusement, well, who was to know?

She had left a few times over the years to get new parts or a new guitar as needed. Rosso was not young and much loved guitars did have strings break eventually, even the new steel strings for the electric ones.

Still, Rosso looked for interesting prisoners, useful ones and ones to torment. One of the first useful prisoners was the one Rosso had used to dig out the level that would eventually become Newkama Land under Iva. By the time construction was complete, Rosso was bored of him and tossed him to the wolves in Level 5 then went for a walk to dispose of the Devil Fruit by having it 'appear' in the kitchen. Just like Rosso could see ghosts she could see the curse travel to a new host until it was consumed. The disappearance of the Devil Fruit user and his death was the basis for what would start the rumor of prisoners being spirited away. He was not the last prisoner Rosso found useful and to disappear in such a manner.

Other prisoners were interesting. The Pirate King was such a dear; all gentlemanly and theatrical for all that his father had probably only been a newborn baby when Rosso first arrived in Impel Down. Rosso had kept track of her age but still dressed like someone in their thirties and despite being old enough to be in the grave twice over. Roger also knew a lot more that the rest of the world had forgotten or buried in hopes that it would never rise again. He had amused her.

It was interesting to talk with him despite how boring it was to keep any conversation hidden from nosy guards. More interesting was the fact that Roger had liked her music. Admittedly she never played many of her killer songs but that was because Roger wanted a big dramatic execution. He even had it planned out already! Maybe she could get Cotone to go? Shy child, her Cotone was, so probably not. Most of her other possessions were in different areas of the world and only needed a few prompts to act on but they couldn't or wouldn't go; admittedly Rosso understood all their different reasons why but that didn't make her happy.

A less interesting prisoner was Shiki the Golden Lion; Rosso didn't introduce herself to him but gave him an opportunity to choose freedom or imprisonment at the cost of his feet. He made the choice faster than Rosso expected he would, so reading his mind was interrupted and might have scrambled his brains a bit beyond what damage having part of the wheel in his head had already done; Rosso was never that good at plucking information from minds -most minds were boring and she didn't bother with them- but she did get Shiki's motivations for breaking Roger out which was more than just simple rivalry; the men were similar in deliciously ironic ways.

Rosso hadn't found many useful prisoners, but that's because her favorite ones were in Level 6; a place Rosso lovingly referred to as her concert hall. Still, most prisoners in Level 6 were tough enough to survive a concept concert with her weaker and less suited guitars. Possessing Cotone was slowly giving her an awareness that allowed her to adjust and create new guitars, with amplification abilities that didn't disperse when her Mist Flames were introduced to the riffs too. This was the reason she was really staying in Impel Down. Lots of audience, and lots of inspiration!

"What songs should Rosso play today? _The Fellow (He Who Makes It Bored Is Killed.)_ Or should Rosso play _Hunt a Soul_?"

Leaning back, Rosso pondered her other songs in selection. "Ah, _Awe of She_ followed by _Writhe In Pain_. Then Rosso says it is _Nothing Out Of The Ordinary._ Classics."

Any prisoners screaming was ignored by the guards. It was Impel Down, a place haunted by many angry ghosts. It was to be expected after all, lots of prisoners died each year and the blood soaked prison was all the happier for it.

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><p>In which I hope to show that Rosso is intelligent, a complete creep and manipulates a World Power aka the World Government and more for her own amusement because she knows of morality but finds little use for things called morals. So this is what Rosso does in her off time, when not possessing Cotone. Scary. Iva isn't in prison yet because Iva is only tossed down there five years before Luffy sets sail so Rosso has the run of the place. In chapter, Rosso hasn't met Xanxus yet.<p>

Rosso's songs are taken from the Guilty Gear franchise; for a fighting game it has some of the best music out there, especially if you like awesome guitar riffs and genuinely awesome original music. Youtube the OST; it's worth listening to. Look for the ones tagged with 'Complete Box' as I'm using songs from Discs 5 & 6, and Disc 7.

Next time it's Hiruma Musouka's 'How Roger sees Xanxus' since Hiruma got the 100th review.


	2. Roger: A Melody of Note

Pirated Perspectives by InsaneScriptist

Beta'd by the eloquent Umei no Mai

Summary: A collection of different perspectives and prompts from Xanxus' Adventures in Parenthood Piracy. Random themes/characters from OP and KHR and prompts from every 100th reviewer.

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><p>Tick... tock...<p>

Tick... tock...

Roger heard that invisible clock shift out of tune with his heart, counting down the number of beats his heart had left and the number of breaths left in his lungs.

Tick... tock...

Roger had adapted to his latent gift of being able to hear 'the Voice of All Things.' It was a bit of a misnomer, Roger felt; he could hear all of them, but he tended to focus on the living things and the music of the world around him instead of just the voices. A lot of voices said the same thing over and over, but the songs were always unique. That music was always interesting and so full of life that it often made him forget he was ill.

Tick... tock...

He had always possessed good hearing, despite the loud booms of cannon fire, the sharp crack of a pistol, the loud rages of the sea in a storm with lightning searing the sky and the deep mountainous roar of thunder; all of which should have deafened him a little bit over the years and dulled his ears. His years as a pirate, fighting, stealing and partying with loud music sung out of key by drunken fellows seemed to only sharpen his hearing however.

The slap of waves against his ship was soothing, as the cries of sea birds could be startling. They were noise against the harmony of his crew; most of them singing soft little songs of happiness and laughing even when circumstances were tough, as they enjoyed the life of a pirate for all its hardships.

Tick... tock...

Rayleigh's own song and voice that could swing between a sleepy little melody of contentment and a thundering clash of violence all wrapped up trust and want. The blond held a nurturing and loving side deep down; Rayleigh could yell, discipline and complain about the cabin boys all he wanted but the man loved Shanks and Buggy as if they were his own. Roger could tell by how much Rayleigh yelled at the two of them.

Crocus' own little melody was a bit daffy, prone to worry, points of confusion and fierce dedication to his craft; it wasn't that predictable unless someone on the crew was going against medical advice and then it would turn, firm and unyielding. It would echo, and resound and sound so full of _compassion_ that not listening to it was impossible.

Tick... tock...

The little redhead, Shanks, held a sound that could be described best by fiddles and other string instruments in the hands of masters; musicians that could make the instrument sing complicated and fast sounds in battle and jaunty little melodies during the day and make all the rowdy pub songs seem new no matter how many times a person heard them. Shanks' sound was ever pleasant, but Roger knew that even after the crew had broken up that Shanks wouldn't be lonely long; even if they weren't aware of the music, people couldn't help but feel the charm.

The other cabin-boy, Buggy, was one that Roger worried about. Buggy was a coward, but when pressed he faced his fears admirably. Most of the time, Roger would hear Buggy's song think, making plans and only to discard them or return to them as circumstances allowed. It wasn't quite a hum, but more of flutes fluttering. When surprised the sound would turn sharp and short but when he was serious it would turn flat with jumps up and down the scale.

The rest of his crew had their own songs that only Roger could hear, including the Oro Jackson. The crew sang of love, joy and excitement peppered with greed and a lust for living. The Oro Jackson sounded and was the strongest ship he had ever heard; fear of storms and losing your footing when the decks were slick with rain and salt-water would not happen when the crew was on the Oro Jackson.

Tick... Tock...

Even his own enemies and rivals had their own special sound. Shiki's music was always lifting, trilling between high notes and the fanfare of war laced with undertones of desire and destruction as a distinct counter melody. Whitebeard's own soul song was a simple little melody, tapped out with playful drums; most of his sons followed along on that melody but some were more extravagantly eccentric in their personal rendition with flourishes, while others held counter-melodies.

Garp for example had his own rhapsody, often upbeat, disorganized but his sense of enjoyment could be infectious in a good fight. Well, Roger would admit that he was like that too, but at least Garp's junior officers had spirit and liveliness unlike a lot of marines who were more troubling.

So when Garp came to visit him in his cell, Roger shamelessly ordered Garp to protect his child. Garp left, with the light he brought with him, his normal disorganized song even further disturbed by his rival's request.

Tick... tock...

Roger did not expect another person to have listened in, much less be able to sneak up on him. Roger was sick; not stupid. Roger didn't _hear_ him, nor did he _sense_ him, but he could _see_ him, or the outline of him anyway; enough to know it was a him.

"The Queen sends her greetings, Pirate King." Roger heard the man say, in an accent that Roger was unfamiliar with. As a Lougetown native, he had heard all sorts of accents even before he was a pirate and found more; it was faint, but there and frustratingly elusive in its strangeness.

Still, the man's reference to his Queen could only mean Rouge. That wasn't a good omen, and neither was this prison visit where no one but him could notice the man. That is, if he was a man at all...

Tick... tock...

Roger tuned his ability to focus on the figure in front of him. Someone who had escaped both his own notice and Garp's. Crocus had told him that he could hallucinate, should his condition worsen enough for that but Roger was pretty sure his brain and eyes were still healthy enough for him to not imagine things.

"Am I dreaming your existence? I didn't notice you." Roger eventually asked. He was certain it wasn't a dream either; he spent more time dreaming while awake than he ever did asleep.

Tick... tock...

"It's a rare skill, but not particularly difficult." The figure explained, with that trace of accent that he couldn't place. Roger closed his eyes and listened more attentively; now that he was listening for it, he could hear the man's song. It was wonderfully complex, layered and varied with an intense focus that was rarely found outside of life-or-death battles. It was a song that managed to project a sense of sorrow, pain and honor with a willingness to do what he needed to or die trying. This man would have made a magnificent pirate and member of his crew; while there was no chance of him joining Roger's crew, didn't change the fact that he would make a fine pirate should he ever have reason to go and journey on the seas.

More conversation, most of it trivial, gave Roger a lot more questions than answers concerning his mysterious visitor. This man was far more grounded and honest than Rosso was but he clearly hadn't been in Impel Down with all the ghosts for over half a century either. The man's questions were pointed, he was insightful and he was dangerous; speaking with him was disturbing for all that he was direct in his inquiries and willing to listen to him prattle on about the acts and the reputation he and his crew had achieved.

Tick... tock...

Like all things, the conversation eventually came to an end; just when he had started guessing back about his mysterious visitor. As they had relaxed, Roger could hear his visitor's music better; more than just a simple melody, the stranger was one of the most complex and controlled people the Pirate King had ever met. Songs could change tempo, pitch and melody to a degree but before meeting Rosso and this man he had never heard of people changing instruments and their songs so drastically. When those brats of the flame devils were using their mysterious fire-based abilities, it seemed that everything changed as the soul songs were burning wildly with a loud glee and complexity.

Tick... tock...

Being escorted out of his cell on the ship to the cell he'd wait in until he was paraded out to his death meant having to sit in an boat for the journey in between. He allowed the marines to lead him towards the base and his doom; he started chuckling when he realized that his visitor was on the boat with him, invisible and his music nearly hidden under the self-righteous hum of the marines... How audacious!

Tick... tock...

His good mood lasted until he was led to his temporary cell, and was stuck hearing nothing but that damnable clock counting down the time he had until he was dead of his disease. To take his mind off the clock, Roger thought back to the past few hours and laughed as he realized he hadn't even gotten his visitor's name!

Tick... tock...

Tick... tock...

Tick... tock...

"My fortune is yours for the taking... but you'll have to find it first. I left everything I own at that place!"

Tick...

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><p>Not quite happy with this, but it'll do. I never want to write Roger again.<p> 


	3. Varia: Unusual Hobbies

Pirated Perspectives by InsaneScriptist

No beta; she's on Christmas Break

Summary: A collection of different perspectives and prompts from Xanxus' Adventures in Parenthood Piracy. Random themes/characters from OP and KHR and prompts from every 100th reviewer.

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><p>The Varia was an unusual organization made by, for and run by assassins of the highest caliber. It recruited without a care to nationality or bloodline, nor did it care about weapons or methods. Just that those in the Varia met the Varia's standards and did their jobs.<p>

This resulted in assassins of many schools of thought, who have varying levels of ability while still being Varia Quality. This often resulted in the Varia being a collection very eccentric individuals, with equally unusual hobbies. Well, if they survived being Varia long enough to develop them.

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><p>Xanxus<p>

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><p>The Boss of the Varia was a practical man, and so were a number of his hobbies. His most enjoyed hobby, was to make unique firearms, and so he practiced making guns of all sorts until he knew them all down to the last detail. Then he worked out his own custom variations until he had the product he wished to obtain. His job resulted in frequent use of his chosen and handmade weapons, so he made and kept a number of spare parts to fix those his Flames had worn down.<p>

His other well-known hobby was tormenting his second in command -The Second Sword Emperor, Squalo Superbi. In any other organization throwing glasses and bottles of alcohol at a subordinate, yelling verbal abuse and shooting at them would have a mutiny in the works within the week; in the Varia it was just a sign of affection. If Xanxus was really angry then there would be blood, broken bones and death. Trust was shown by letting his officers and minions deal with whatever mess the trash had gotten into.

Xanxus' last hobby wasn't well-known and it didn't warrant any mentions in the Varia since they knew the value of psychological warfare very well; the Varia were much harder to disturb and freak-out than a lot of would-be bosses that were technically his peers when he believed he was the Ninth's son. Those same 'peers' however remembered and shuddered.

Xanxus had a number of preferred intimation tactics which at least threatened violence, maiming and bloody violent death; those however weren't supposed to be used on allies or those that could be allies. The mafia was all about civilized violence and playing politics with lives and businesses.

Instead of looming dangerously, Xanxus feigned a crazy-type of creepy learned from dealing with his insane mother. Twisting words, turning phrases and mutilating meanings in addition to his normally violent attitude exuded a type of psychological pressure that would break opponents in business negotiations winning him concessions and respect alike. It was highly effective, especially when paired with wearing feathers, animal tails and more; he later incorporated them into his daily wear because he liked them and had grown used to them. It also annoyed the Ninth's more uptight Guardians, since he looked far too wild, acted such and was.

Xanxus was quite amused and laughed when he learned that he was the '3rd Creepiest Mafioso in the World' in the ranking-scum's book, even nearly a decade after he had last interacted with other would-be Bosses and their men. Psychological manipulations left many marks on various psyches even a decade later. Merely mentioning his name sent various Bosses and their inner circle into tears and flashbacks. That's why he liked the Varia; they could survive his moods, whims and his deplorable habit of psychological manipulations for his own amusement and benefit.

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><p>Squalo<p>

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><p>Squalo Superbi was the Second Sword Emperor, after he had murdered the First and won the title through blood. It then follows suit that his favorite hobby was sword maintenance. It was his favorite hobby but not his only one.<p>

Sword maintenance was the one he did manage to do most often since he had a lot to do in running the Varia, doing missions, his own personal business -his hair was getting stupidly long and took stupidly long amounts of time to take care of- and somehow managing something like a social-life and had a friend outside of the Varia. It might have been a social life that consisted of only two people -Dino was the friend and Yamamoto was someone that wouldn't go away- outside of the Varia but even Lussuria didn't manage that.

Admittedly, there wasn't much time for him to pursue his less-known hobby because he was so damn busy. Squalo was a history buff; specifically of sword styles and the culture surrounding weapons throughout the ages. Human history had been shaped by war and the sword played a major part in war until guns and artillery made swords practically obsolete for the masses.

Squalo had been a child-prodigy in all sorts of sword-styles, including fencing and had mastered most of the western styles before he tackled Tyr at the age of fourteen. Then he fought, learned and absorbed the eastern sword-styles as he fought various sword-masters to prove he had earned his title. Unlike most western sword styles, the eastern styles were full of history to be taught with the blade and it had added weight to the blade. To fully understand it, he had researched the sword schools past and present, gaining further insight into the styles, moves and mindset.

That was when his love of history was discovered. He enjoyed the research and the insight into the past; applying his knowledge of the past to the present gave him a wider perspective on issues.

It was also how he discovered that Xanxus wasn't the Ninth's son, so his hair was doomed to get even more ridiculously long since Xanxus wasn't able to become Decimo ever. Stupid promise.

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><p>Bel<p>

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><p>Belphegor likes killing and messy murder and makes no secret of it. He fully enjoys his title of 'Prince the Ripper' and all that it entails, from hacking at the body to dragging out entrails. He enjoys killing local hitmen as a hobby, especially those that aren't from the Vongola so are trespassing on the Prince's chosen land or are rats.<p>

Bel doesn't like the paperwork that is required to kill the rats, but better paperwork than being grounded or punished. His Boss is scary, but so very good at killing that Bel has to admire him and so Bel adheres to the few rules his Boss has set.

It's only after his Boss is frozen that Bel is left to fill in the void that suddenly appeared in his life. That void is the hell known as boredom; there are sometimes downsides to being a genius. Even killing could get boring and when Bel realized that, he also knew what to do. Bel decided to try having more 'normal' hobbies.

Video games only worked until he beat them, which usually didn't take long, even if he replayed them to get the 100% completion rate. He didn't care for performance art or movies, even if some of the slasher films were funny in how wrong they got the blood spray. Novels only needed to be read once and then the Prince would remember them perfectly.

Mammon was the one that initially lent him the poetry and philosophy books. Discussions of both kept him entertained for months, as poetry was meant to be ambiguous and philosophy was meant to be thought about. It led to Bel respecting Mammon as a person and not just as an assassin, which is why when he bored of books he listened to Mammon's suggestion that he paid for.

Mammon suggested getting into the arts. Bel realized that it was something that as a Prince he should be capable of doing. He learned how to draw from tutors before he killed them and taught himself how to paint due to his own genius. He did however bore of that, after a few months of intense creativity and a massive learning curve.

Bel bought the next suggestion, which was sculpting. Pottery was for peasants and craftsmen, which left statues. Wood carving was a peasant's art too, while doing so from stone was too tedious. Bel then remembered about ice sculpting, and used his knives to do that.

It is from his time spent learning to sculpt ice and having his frozen creations put on display that he learns that there's an art to creating food. An appreciation of this skill later saves Yamamoto Tsuyoshi from Bel's knives and wins the sushi-chef a life-long customer whenever Bel was in Japan. While he has no interest in cooking, he does have one in baking if only because a Prince deserves a Princely Cake.

Like a genius that he is, Bel masters the basics but is stumped by the variety of sweets available to make. Bread was boring, doughnuts were fun, eclairs more so and cake was delicious. At fourteen he learns to make spin sugar into art, something that is delicate and finicky and a proper challenge for a genius to handle.

Eventually like all things, Bel bores of baking and creating and returns to killing which has become interesting again. This cycle of killing and creativity repeats until his Boss is unfrozen and that void is filled, so Bel finds his time in the Varia more interesting again.

He still does get bored of killing occasionally, but baking skull cookies or spinning sugar into a scene of a grotesque murder entertains him well enough that he regains his taste for blood.

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><p>Levi<p>

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><p>Leviathan was the clumsiest member of the Varia and the lowest in the pecking order of the Officers. It was understandable as the Varia was made of some really incredible assassins, but it didn't make him happy that a crazy knife-brat that was seven years his junior was closer to the Boss than he was.<p>

Levi really, truly, loves his Boss and worshiped the ground Xanxus walked on. Xanxus was the kind of Boss the Varia and the Vongola needed; strong, demanding and deadly.

Therefore it makes sense that his hobby is impressing his Boss.

He's zealous about getting to places on time and dressed in the correct fashion, to the point of owning over a hundred alarm clocks. He arrives two hours early whenever possible to show his dedication.

He's an efficient assassin, completing his missions and errands as speedily as possible while keeping to the level that the Boss expects from him. Unlike others in the Varia, Levi doesn't care for sight-seeing, relaxing or spending time away from his Boss.

He keeps his division well organized and in top-shape for all that they're assassins and not straight-up fighters. After the Ring Battle, Levi killed seven of them for making him look bad in front of his Boss, when they were decimated by Lancia.

He drinks to improve his tolerance because the Boss drinks too and drinking alone is no fun. He learns that beer makes him belch, wine makes him woozy, whiskey brings tears to his eyes and tequila makes his clothes fall off. While his tolerance hasn't improved he did get something else due to it.

Levi gets his first piercing while drunk, due to a dare. When his Boss first sees it, Levi sees one of Xanxus' eyebrows raise and a flicker of interest. Levi then decides to get more piercings, to look more intimidating and attract his Boss' interest. He gets a few blinks when he gets another eyebrow ring. Levi is happy, doing his job, serving his Boss and gaining his Boss' attention.

Right up until he realizes that he's getting more obsessed with the piercings than his Boss was and removes them all. Clearly, Boss' piercing fetish was just a phase, since he hasn't reacted to the newest additions in the least beyond tossing him through the wall.

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><p>Lussuria<p>

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><p>Lussuria was a well-acknowledge pervert by even the mildest standards of the word; being an okama was enough for some people but that wasn't even touching on Lussuria being a necrophiliac homosexual which was disturbing enough that people did not dare to think about that.<p>

He did adhere to some of the gay stereotypes in his flamboyance, such as his appreciation for fashion and his efforts in designing the Varia uniforms himself. He also mothered the other officers as much as they'd allow and healed any scraps they might have gotten; most days had him nursing more damage from each other than anyone else as they were Varia after all...

He wore prescription sunglasses even at night, because he had a superb awareness of self and space, which allowed him to navigate and move without issue even without any source of light. This and his skill at Muay Thai allowing him to land fatal blows turned him into assassin material. Those were things he learned to do as a child.

Lussuria was also an avid fan of movies of all sorts, having an extensive collection ranging from horror to rom-coms to multitudes of porn. His collection of 'soft' porn was pitiful, while he had a much larger expanse of hard porn of both het and gay porn. He even had lesbian porn and a lot of amateur porn of bondage, S & M and more.

While traveling for work he visited clubs, and watched how the dancers both male and female moved as he licked his lips. He tossed cash for private dances and shows, was waited on hand and foot for it too. In some countries it wasn't illegal; sometimes it was even expected. He knew because he grew up in one of them and it twisted him like it twisted the culture.

Occasionally he found someone he liked well enough to pay for a night, and took them that way. He had a few distinct types that he favored over others; notably boys right before they became men and pretty ones at that. As for preferred features, Lussuria didn't truly discriminate there so much as he did personality or at least the ability to fake it.

He really liked the spitfire and stubborn type best; long pale hair or dark and soft with a touch of rage. He liked to use them, pay for their lives if they were any good, use them again, kill them and then keep them forever. It was his own little hobby, as was replaying those fantasies made semi-reality since both of them were men and not on that precious cusp anymore.

Levi wasn't the only Officer that could be in love with his Boss after all, but his Boss wasn't the only pretty one about either.

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><p>Mammon<p>

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><p>Mammon knew he was greedy as hell. He charged people for carrying him around, for saying thank-you in his general direction and spent as little as he could. He stole and looted with the best of them, gaining more and more money.<p>

He also collected priceless works, which ranged from art to books and kept them in pristine condition. He charged people to look at them and even more to touch them with a rental fee to get the gloves to touch the rare books.

About the only thing he didn't charge for were things he was doing for his own benefit so long as nobody indicated that they would be willing to pay him to do that or pay him for the information afterwards.

Mammon joined the Varia because they had plentiful missions, a high success rate and devilish skills. Unlike hitmen who had the occasional kill tossed their way, the Varia were virtually flooded with requests; the Varia also allowed looting so long as the assassination requirements allowed for it. By joining the Varia, his accounts swelled with cash beyond what he had ever imagined for simple illusions pulled off masterfully because they were good enough that they didn't need the more complex ones. Digits piled upon digits and Mammon was happy to see the numbers grow.

He had previously thought about joining the Varia when it was run by Tyr, but he lacked clear financial data to prove it was a good choice. By the time Tyr was dead, Mammon intimidated the previous Mist Officer into resigning and ruination.

The new head of the Varia, and the Ninth's most dangerous son quickly took note of his money obsession and tossed the budget his way with stipulations: Varia Quality had to be maintained, as would equipment, food quality and more. Any excess Mammon could squeeze out of the budget was his to do with as he liked so long as it benefited the Varia. Unsaid but not unheard was _use this for whatever is needed so long as it benefited the Varia and you._

Mammon set up a system to classify missions and increased the commission due to the difficulty rankings depending on the mission. That was money to do with as he wished so long as he did something so simple. His Boss smiled when the Varia's budget was now far easier to handle and Viper felt a flutter in her greedy little heart.

A man that knew how to delegate resources properly was one Viper could grow to like, especially when he had good taste. Plus, he was such a good catch when he would take control of the Vongola since his brothers clearly weren't suited or else they'd already be Decimo...

One coup, eight years and the breaking of a curse later, Mammon followed Xanxus out of loyalty. Viper told herself it wasn't love. Mammon knows she's lying.

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><p>Sorry Deer-Shifter. Not yet. This is to celebrate 100,000+ words in XAiPP.<p>

Originally it was supposed to be about Bel and how he becomes a baker twice or so a year as mentioned in XAiPP, but it morphed into 'Everyone wants Xanxus, except Squalo' and how that happened I don't know.

Xanxus- considering he's been frozen for eight years and is still considered creepier than Mukuro, you know he has to have inflicted some mental scars on the mafia before he became a reclusive assassin.

Squalo- him being a history buff just fits. It might be head-cannon but whatever. He's a curious shark.

Bel- he's a genius and a killer. Boredom happens, so he's bound to try any number of things. The muse says that Mammon sells off Bel's artwork and ice sculptures; Mammon gets cookies, cake and profit in return.

Levi- he's zealously devoted to his Boss and reads far too much into things at times because of it. This also explains why his piercings disappeared in the future arc.

Luss- he's meant to be disturbing. My muse has it's own head-cannon for him where he's raised in a country where sex-trafficking is normal/expected. He's also trained as a ninja/martial artist so that he could be useful after he was too old for sex. The Vongola then destroy that operation and so Luss joins them until he transfers to the Varia. It really explains a lot about Luss including why he prefers those of a certain age range. (And dead, because they don't grow older.)

Mammon- is motivated by greed. My own headcannon snuck in here again, where Mammon is a male personality created to protect Viper. They're both greedy as hell, but they have different morals. To shamelessly self-promote, 'Tragedy of Age' hints at it some more issues.

Why am I writing this disturbing stuff? Clearly the Varia have managed to kill my holiday spirit.


	4. Asari: Language Logistics

Pirated Perspectives by InsaneScriptist

Beta'd by the refined Umei no Mai

Summary: A collection of different perspectives and prompts from Xanxus' Adventures in Parenthood Piracy. Random themes/characters from OP and KHR and prompts from every 100th reviewer.

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><p>Language Logistics<p>

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><p>The Vongola as an organization could have developed in numerous completely different directions if not for a series of coincidences that resulted in the assembling of the Vongola's First Generations.<p>

Notably, Asari Ugetsu, Primo's Rain Guardian got on the wrong ship sometime when he was at a port in a foreign country on the way to the Netherlands.

Many things about the Vongola's First Generation were never mentioned in history. The one that resulted in Asari becoming part of the Vongola was due to his appalling sense of direction and trusting someone's almost equally bad directions at a port when Asari didn't know the local language that well.

So instead of ending up somewhere in the Netherlands where the Dutch were carving out a shipping empire, he ended up in what would later become Italy; specifically Sicily, the birthplace of the Mafia, which at the time was not part of Italy -because 'Italy' didn't exist yet- and under the rule of the Spanish Crown.

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><p>Asari realized he was on the wrong ship approximately a week after boarding. Despite being well-educated and well-accomplished in both swordsmanship and the Four Accomplishments with some training in negotiations, the latter means nothing if you can't speak the language of the people around you. A person also gets terribly lost when they don't speak the language either, so getting on the wrong ship was a bad thing, even if it wasn't too terrible as the ship was heading in that same general direction for the most part.<p>

Thankfully sailors that went from port to port around the world at least knew enough of the local language in any port to make themselves understood. So one week after boarding and sailing, Asari realized he was on the wrong ship. It was still heading towards Europe if not towards the Dutch -so if he wanted he could catch another ship to his destination or at another port once he had the funds- so Asari took the fact he was on the wrong ship in stride. The journey would be a long one after all, since they hadn't even reached any part of Africa and so they still had to sail all the way down around Africa and then up and around again.

Instead, to kill time on the months long journey, he learned various languages from the deck-hands, played his flute and practiced with his blade to keep his skill and reflexes sharp; to do otherwise would dishonor it. Combined with his polite manners, this made him the most popular passenger on the ship especially once he helped stop pirates from plundering the ship or that he could pitch in to help should a storm break overhead and hands on deck were needed.

This also meant that by the time the Vongola became the large organization that the Mafia Famiglia was later built upon, Asari also spoke the most languages until Daemon Spade joined. Daemon Spade being a noble, was both appalled and delighted by Asari's knack for languages; appalled because of how frank the other man was was and delighted because Asari was actually fluent for all that he cursed like a sailor outside of his native Japanese. This 'problem' was only halfheartedly corrected and then only in Sicilian through Giotto and G's efforts, Latin because he scandalized Knuckle and Asari learned to censor himself around the priest and French because Alaude wouldn't allow Asari to speak like a sailor anymore in his native language upon pain of incarceration. Seeing outsiders twitch as the smiling, friendly foreigner cussed them out in their own language never stopped being funny, not even for Daemon Spade.

Notably between both Daemon and Asari, they managed to educate their fellows in the written nuances of numerous languages after Asari learned the Latin script used; not that some of them didn't already know how to read or write but Asari only knew how to do so in Japanese as there were very few sailors that took books out to sea and written Japanese was complicated enough to count as several languages. Knuckle, being a priest had only learned how to read and write Latin. Lampo, was noble enough to be educated to do so in multiple languages even if he was lazy and therefore not very good at it. Alaude was also well educated, which left G and Giotto; plus Giotto's numerous friends of course.

Giotto and Cozarto were orphans in a poor town after all. They only spoke Sicilian and so could not communicate in Spanish or formal Latin as the nobles and educated of the time did, so they had to first be taught to speak and write in them. Knuckle taught them Latin, which they used to socialize with those of a higher class and social rank. Asari learned to read and write Latin then, and while the profanity problem persisted, Asari learned not to use certain phrases around the priest and women even if understanding of why not to use them took him years; he was quietly embarrassed by then and tried to eliminate them from his vocabulary but years of habit left its mark. Being able to speak fluently did not require understanding everything that was said especially when Asari had been led to believe that a number of phrases he had learned were just to emphasis emotion.

G learned to read, write and speak new languages quickly enough, as did Giotto and his allies, Cozarto Simon who created an organization similar to the Vongola and Giotto's numerous 'friends' who did the same. In return Giotto and G taught them how to use their Flames, even if much of the mafia's conventional usage of such flames were still undiscovered back then. It was the fact that Knuckle had Sun Flames and they could heal that protected the fledgling Vongola from being crushed under the heel of the Church back then; Flames were were seen as a blessing from God in the recently formed Vongola, and that was an attitude that stayed with the mafia, even as it became more secular as the Church and Pope lost power over the centuries.

However in order for all that to happen, Giotto and Asari had to meet. This meeting was later much romanticized as 'fate' but there was actually a far simpler reason than 'fate.' Notably, they only told people about their 'second meeting' and brushed off the first as something other than what it was; a passing matter at best was how Giotto treated it and so Asari did the same.

The first meeting happened because Primo was something of a gambling addict. He had to get money for the fledgling Vongola somehow before they received backing and support from the rich merchants and nobility without resorting to actual crimes like theft. Gambling wasn't an actual crime to Giotto so he took advantage of this fact.

Notably, this was also left out of history, but intentionally this time. Ricardo couldn't match his cousin's miraculous repeated feats in gambling and lacked even the inclination to try to do so, and thus resorted to something much easier to keep the Vongola in funds without worrying about how to pay for itself. These activities would later become illegal which made the Vongola into a Criminal Empire. Of course that meant that those activities had to be protected from both the law and the Vongola's competitors, so Ricardo terrorized the forming 'Underworld' that was the mafia by himself because the Vongola Famiglia needed the money to support itself and its agenda.

And that's why the Vongola turned into a Mafia Famiglia.

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><p>Asari had learned during his months at sea and the scant days at ports that playing an instrument was a valuable skill that could earn a person some of the local currency. It could also earn food, drink, and a bed for the night especially if you were any good. Asari was very good and even those who hadn't heard a flute before could tell.<p>

That was really good as a lot of places didn't accept his native currency. They had no use for it beyond a novelty to show off to those that they knew. So playing for money to pay for necessities was very much something he had become accustomed to.

Like any sailor, Asari knew how to take care of himself in a foreign port and like any port used to foreigners they tended to stay near the port because they'd leave soon enough. It wasn't like the port side inns were the most comfortable places to stay in after all, which is why they were cheap. Those that stayed only did so because they couldn't afforded passage or couldn't work for it. Asari probably would have moved on and out of the port with the next ship except for the fact that a wiry blond ducked into his rented room and bolted the door.

(Giotto had been avoiding people that he had won all their money off of, who for some reason had taken offense to losing.)

Asari had been practicing his flute intensely and so didn't notice an overly dramatic blond barricade himself in his room or the search carried out by Giotto's gambling victims looking for the blond either. Not even when they broke the cheap lock on the door to peer inside and said overly dramatic blond dived under the bed to avoid notice.

(The foreigner was playing peacefully on his flute and the sword -no matter how strange looking- was beside him on the bed, convinced Giotto's pursuers that the blond wasn't in there and it was better to leave before the foreigner took his sword to them.)

Asari did notice the clapping after he was finished though. He blushed.

"Are you staying here long?" Giotto asked. "I've got a few friends that could do to listen to nice music on occasion. G's too uptight!"

Asari understood maybe half of that, but he did understand that Giotto would want to listen again so he shouldn't sail out on the next ship that would take him.

And that's how the first meeting went.

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><p>The second meeting happened when Giotto dragged G and a few unfortunates forgotten to history down to the pub to listen. The future Primo of the Vongola was a very friendly and charismatic guy which earned him plenty of friends even as his gambling habits earned him plenty of enemies.<p>

Asari was playing various songs that some of the more well-traveled and less inhibited sang along with. Giotto had chirped merrily about the foreign flautist to his friends and then immersed himself in a couple of card-games once actually in the port-side pub.

G could only sigh at his friend's antics, as Giotto had such an accurate intuition that G had accused Giotto of having demonic help before. He wasn't the only one and Giotto was becoming far too used to being splashed with holy water; that he was blonde and therefore potentially foreign and suspicious did not help. Being seen around redheads like himself and Cozarto also didn't help, as they were subjected to holy water if less frequently than Giotto just for their hair color alone. Giotto however still sang along to the less bawdy -those were embarrassing enough to just listen to- songs and clapped when Asari was done.

Having an idea of what was going to happen soon, G pulled Asari close and gave the very foreign looking man a cash tip, because he really was that good. When the accusations of cheating started being flung Giotto's way, G was already pulling Asari away from the inevitable brawl.

The both waded back in anyway. G because Giotto was his friend and Asari because he liked the friendly blond; most people weren't that nice to people who were so different from them.

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><p>After the bar fight that resulted in Asari being tossed out of his rooms for the night, Giotto brought his eventual Rain Guardian home.<p>

There were a number of misunderstandings as they tried to understand each other but it eventually worked out. It was a pretty embarrassing time that all involved tried not to remember. Far too much culture shock on both sides, if 'both' meant Giotto and G. Asari seemed immune to embarrassment and actually ignorant of the specific significance of some of the words he used, which did not help. It actually made things worse for both natives. They just tried to make sure that Asari learned to speak proper Sicilian and not a sailor's Sicilian.

Giotto and G were glad that Asari picked up on Sicilian and eventually Latin quickly, as was Asari. Asari found their attempts at speaking Japanese endearing but they too often put emphasis on all the wrong parts of the words, changing their meaning entirely.

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><p>As the Vongola grew, so did the understanding of at least stock phrases of Japanese and a number of other languages. The main reason was that so few people knew what Japan was, much less anything about its language or culture. It was practically a secret weapon all on its own for its sheer usefulness. Japan was at this point in history was completely closed off to outsiders, only trading in a very limited manner with the Dutch, so most people didn't even realize the country existed, no matter how well educated they were; unless they were Dutch.<p>

Asari, having sailed with sailors was used to a bit of culture shock as that happened to him in practically every port and was by now cheerfully immune. The rest of the Vongola was not so lucky so there were a number of misunderstandings that weren't further helped by Asari's eclectic vocabulary in a number of languages when he tried to explain things should they not speak Sicilian or Latin as Knuckle had corrected the worst of that over time by being EXTREME-ly scandalized. It was even worse when the misunderstanding happened to those that weren't part of the Vongola. Most of them were eventually worked out, occasionally through use of force but some things didn't end nearly as well.

Giotto was not so happy to bail his eventual Rain Guardian out of jail that a French Intelligence Agent travelling in what would become Italy had put him in. Giotto then recruited Alaude to the Vongola's cause, so things worked out well enough for Primo.

The Callavone also agreed to an alliance with the Vongola that same week.

The reason being that allying with that blond devil meant he wasn't gambling in their territory anymore. They actually liked to make a profit off of their horse racing, and they would have made a huge profit off of it except for the fact that Giotto tended to walk off with most of it after placing a few, admittedly large bets.

It was actually cheaper to send the men, horses and supplies over to help the Vongola than to continuously be robbed by that gambler. He was human -the had a priest check- and not possessed but he certainly had the Devil's Luck.

They too slowly started learning Japanese, if only because it had become the best language to share confidential news and information in among the Vongola alliance.

Needless to say, Asari had a number of students from all over the alliance learning Japanese; not just spoken Japanese, but also written.

Asari tried his best but for all his accomplishments he wasn't that good of a teacher concerning grammar; vocabulary was another issue considering how colorful his was in most languages he knew. Giotto had an idea that he eventually managed to convince Daemon -who had the Flame that dealt most with the mind- to copy Asari's memories of the language for himself and while Daemon had given himself a major headache that left him bedridden for most of a week, he did 'learn' the language almost overnight. Giotto then followed, chatting in Japanese only for the next three weeks leading Asari to translate as Daemon was too busy laughing at them.

It was a gamble that worked and proved very beneficial for the Vongola overall, for generations, since they followed suit. Needless to say, this was also left out of history intentionally because it was one of Primo's stupid ideas, for all that Daemon repeated the procedure on a number of the Vongola's elite and their staunchest allies; mafia historians attribute this use of Dying Will Flames to Daemon Spade's invention, spurred on by the necessity of having a secure line of communication and getting Asari into the field for their military exploits.

Asari could then dedicate more time to his music and his sword until changing circumstances forced him to chose the sword over the flute.

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><p>The use of the Japanese language as 'code' allowed for the passage of private communications to and from the Vongola and its allies up until World War Two, when Japan became noticeable to the world once more and then after as it pulled off its own post World War Two miracle.<p>

Needless to say, as a language, Japanese was a favorite among the Vongola and its allies to learn. It isn't unsurprising that as a result a lot of the mafia that wasn't part of the Vongola alliance wasn't fond of the language or nation in general even if the belief that it was a devilish language was on the wane.

It had been the instrument of their falls from grace far too many times.

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><p>Notes: The history and facts mixed into this is mostly accurate, except for what deals with the Vongola as that's a fictional organization. Italy's history is a mess of foreign colonies, papal states and city-states until about 1860-ish when it was largely unified so there's lots of foreign languages spoken all over 'Italy' at various points in history. So Italy is officially younger than the US, as the USA separated from the British in 1776.<p>

Sicily is considered the 'birthplace' of the mafia, so Sicilian -a Latin based language that like English steals words and phrases from other languages- is spoken by the poor plebeians because the 'rich and influential' speak Spanish and _proper_ Latin as Sicily is under Spanish rule at this time. Sicily later joined Italy around 1860-ish and became autonomous in 1946.

Notably, as a language Sicilian is considered to be different enough from Italian to be its own language so the mafia based in Sicily likely speak this unless its a formal occasion in which they probably use Tuscan-Italian, which according to Umei, is the most well known dialect of Italian, made popular after the Second World War through mass-media. So, the mafia probably speak Sicilian and not Italian, or _did_ because formal education and mass-media is pervasive like that, especially when given decades to work. For example, the Ninth likely grew up speaking/hearing Sicilian but his sons probably didn't; Xanxus probably did because the poor have less access to mass-media to change their language habits within a generation or two and like to hoard what they can including culture. A lot of people who speak near-dead languages/rare dialects are often prideful people living near or in poverty.

Languages have their own dialogue with history too, which can be interesting especially since Asari had no reason to go that way in the first place and Primo had no way to enter Japan and find Asari since Primo wasn't Dutch so he couldn't enter Japan to trade; plus Primo didn't have the money or time to travel back and forth. So Asari had to be seriously lost by getting on the wrong ship somewhere in India or else the _major coincidences_ that made Vongola so powerful and so 'lucky' smack of conspiracy, possibly by Kawahira and Sepira... which is an interesting thought.

I might write on that later.


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